Our hearts go out to the families and community of the recent massacre in Newtown, Ct. I wanted to share with you a blog from InterFaithFamily, a website In enjoy reading. Perhaps this might help you help your children cope. -- Morah Judy
I couldn’t stop thinking about Connecticut, the 26 people killed, 20
of whom were children. My children are in elementary school. I was
scared to tell them because I was afraid they’d never want to go to
school, but with media everywhere and emotions so raw, they found out
about the tragedy. I struggle with what to tell them. I struggle with
letting them leave the house. I want them to go out into the world
without fear. I worry that they won’t want to go to school and that they
won’t want to go to sleep.
Several
years ago, my second son, Sam, was scared and having trouble sleeping.
When Sam used to fear monsters, I could calm his fear with helping him
control his imagination. But this time the fear was real. My older son,
Rob, had nearly been hit by a car while his brother was two steps away.
Rob walked into the street as a car came around the corner and he walked
into the side of a moving car and bounced back onto the sidewalk.
Fortunately, Rob was fine physically, but emotionally, we were all
affected. Sam saw it happen and became anxious all the time. The school
noticed the problem too. I spoke with the school psychologist and she
suggested prayer. My inner agnostic didn’t take her seriously at first,
but I quickly realized that this idea had some merit. My kids already
knew the Jewish bedtime prayer, the Shema.
Religious Jews say it several times a day but at night, it seems to
have special meaning. The translation is “Hear o Israel, The Lord our
G-d, the Lord is one.” I explained to my kids that we should say this
prayer together every night. It is our way of letting go of the fear and
stress we have and having some faith that G-d will take care of us. As a
parent, I noticed that the kids immediately relaxed and were able to
get some sleep.
After the incident in Connecticut, I began to think more about
prayer. I thought about the concept of saying a prayer before we eat — Hamotzi.
We eat all the time, why should we take a second to say thanks? Today I
realized that the act of prayer makes us realize that we can’t take the
simple things for granted – like our kids will be safe when they are at
school. We should say thank you for what we have. The agnostic voice in
my head says that if there is a supreme being, he doesn’t have time to
listen to my prayer for the food that we eat. I now realize that prayer
isn’t just for G-d. Prayer is for us; to save our sanity in an insane
world, to give us a moment of calm and appreciation of the good things. I
feel that if we have the balance of appreciation, we can ride out the
tougher things like a bad day or a human tragedy with a little more
strength. Prayer gives us calm, focus, and a little bit of inner peace.
Oprah Winfrey used to recommend keeping a journal of appreciation —
write down the good things in your life every day and it will help you
avoid depression. I now realize that religion is way ahead on this
concept — appreciate what you have and it will save your soul today,
tomorrow and in the future. It can get you through a bad day and help
you sleep at night.
In a few months, InterfaithFamily/Philadelphia will be offering a
class called “Raising a Child With Judaism in Your Interfaith Family.”
These online classes (with two in-person sessions) teach about various
Jewish rituals such as the Shema and Hamotzi. As a parent, I realize how
meaningful these small prayers are toward helping us all function and
appreciate the life we have. As we share more details about the class,
including how to register, in the coming weeks, I hope you will spread
the word about this class and encourage even the most cynical to look
into it. When we watch tragedy take place in the world, I find prayer to
be one of the more powerful weapons in our parental arsenal. In the
meantime, I say a prayer for the families in Connecticut. I am so sorry
for your loss.
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