The following was reprinted from: Allison Josephs, Jew in the City
The Seder is a wonderful experience but it can be far more fulfilling
if the leader understands what he’s doing and if all members of the
family and guests are involved. Here are some tips to get the most out
of your Seder:
1. Do your homework. If you were giving a speech at work,
wouldn’t you take the time to review your material? Wouldn’t you try to
anticipate questions so that you could answer them? There’s no reason
the Seder should be any different! Look through several Haggadahs and
select one that works for you. (We asked around for recommendations for
some Haggadahs that are both filled with deep ideas and suitable
even for beginners. We were told that the most popular ones in this
category are by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Rabbi Avraham Twerski, and
ArtScroll.) Take the time to prepare some comments and divrei Torah
based on the traditional commentaries – it goes a long way towards
making the Haggadah more relevant! You can also use this helpful
seder guide we found to supplement your Haggadah.
2. Don’t go it alone. There will be other people at your
Seder, so why should the leader do absolutely everything? Getting others
involved not only takes work off the leader’s shoulders, it engages the
participants and is more interesting for everybody. Take turns reading
and ask others to prepare divrei Torah in advance.
3. Encourage questions. The Talmud repeatedly tells us that
the reason we do certain things at the Seder is “so the children will
ask.” It’s not a race to get to the end of the book, it’s an opportunity
to have a meaningful experience, so slow it down and take the time to
talk about the things that the Haggadah says. (Some sample questions
appear below.)
4. Use your skills. We each have unique talents and strengths –
put yours to work making the Seder come alive. Are you a gifted singer?
A master storyteller? An aspiring comedian? The Haggadah is not just
the words on the page! Use your unique capabilities at appropriate times
to make your Seder a personalized experience.
5. Eat something in advance. The famous “fifth question” of the Seder is “when do we eat?”
It
takes a while to get to the meal and people can get a little impatient.
That’s not good for one’s ability to enjoy the Seder. Yes, the
afternoon before Passover is hectic, but everyone will appreciate the
Seder more if they take a break to eat something so they’re not famished
at Seder time.
Four (More) Questions
What’s the difference between the wise son and the wicked son?
The wicked son is criticized for saying “you,” thereby excluding
himself from the group – but the wise son also says “you!” Why is he not
likewise chastised? The reason is that the wise son’s question includes
the words “Hashem our God.” We see from his choice of words that,
unlike the wicked son, he still views himself as a part of the
community.
What’s this chazeres stuff?
The Seder plate has a spot for maror – the bitter herbs – and a spot
for chazeres – which is just more bitter herbs (typically romaine
lettuce)! This is because maror is eaten twice during the course of the
Seder. The Jerusalem Talmud explains “chazeres” as a vegetable that
starts out sweet and turns bitter. This is symbolic of the Jews’ lives
in Egypt, which started out well when Joseph was alive but then turned
bitter with their servitude to Pharaoh.
Why would it have been enough?
The song “Dayeinu” is confusing. If God had brought us to Mount Sinai
but not given us the Torah, it would have been enough? If He had not
brought us into Israel, it would have been enough? Why would it have
been enough to not receive the most essential things in Judaism?
Actually, Dayeinu is the introduction to the psalms of praise we call
Hallel. The intention of Dayeinu is to say, “Even if God had only done
this, it would have been enough reason for us to sing the following
songs of praise,” not to downplay our appreciation for any of God’s
gifts.
Why is Pharaoh held responsible if God “hardened his heart?”
If you got a shock every time you reached for the light switch on
Friday night, you’d eventually stop trying to turn on the lights. But
doing so wouldn’t really be your choice! If you could ignore the shock,
you might still turn on the lights. That’s what “hardening Pharaoh’s
heart” means.” Pharaoh repeatedly said he would release the Jews because
he was coerced by the plagues. What God did was He restored Pharaoh’s
resolve. He gave Pharaoh the ability to withstand the plagues and do
what he really wanted to do. Pharaoh is responsible because God
“hardened his heart,” not despite it!
Some further Passover reading on Jew in the City:
In the Haggadah we say “in every generation they rise against us to destroy us
…and the Holy One, blessed be He, saves us from their hand. How can the haggadah conclude the verse with this claim? Haven’t we repeatedly not been saved?
We thank God for freeing us from slavery, but wasn’t He the One that put us there in the first place?
Why did He do it?!
Why does matza contain
the secret to financial freedom?
What can we learn from matza in order to
stop being so lazy?
